Mi Sorellina

My younger sister ML just tunred 40! As part of her surprise party given by her amazing husband, Tim, guests were asked to bring memories and pictures of my sister. So here is mine:


The twisted gum wrapper rolled over and over between thumb and index finger, tucked in the linty corner of a raincoat pocket. How odd that a disintegrating silver lined piece of paper long past its purpose could symbolize the transition of a young 20 something girl into a woman with an intention to support and comfort.

Big sister’s in the rulebook of life take on the care of younger siblings. They change diapers, chauffeur to friend’s houses and offer new experiences.

I relished my role and thought that is how it would always be. I, the big sister, would slip an extra couple of bucks in her palm to buy that coveted pair of jeans, offer advice on the tender issues of life or throw tea parties to celebrate a birthday.




On a day in a long ago month of March in the corridor of New York hospital with the nervous inevitability of the unfolding events, my little sister, mi sorellina became my caregiver. As my husband John lying dying, Martina fingered that gum wrapper. She told me it was quite awhile before she could bring herself to throw it away.

I knew in the core of me that John would not allow himself to leave until he knew I was taken care of. When Martina and my mother came to visit him for the last time in the hospital, an unspoken request was made from a brother in law to a little sister.

True to her commitment, mi sorellina became my housemate, travel companion, and book club buddy. She ate chips and refried beans with me in my tiny kitchen in Roselle Park; her continued support in my grief shown through the soul in her eyes and grasp of her hand across the table.

And when I decided to move to the other side of the country, she never discouragede and was the first of my family to visit Jack and I in San Diego

There is an embroidery sampler that my sisters and I often joke about. It reads

SISTERS ARE FOREVER FRIENDS AND I AM SO GLAD

YOU ARE MINE.

In a bit of our mother tongue, from one Italian girl to another (the best I can!),

Sorellas sei amico ora e per sempre e sono felice un mio amico.

Big sister cherishes little sister, Little sister cares for big sister. Chronology of birth, rulebook of life no matter, I have a friend in you.

Buon compleanno, sorellina. Ti amo.
Happy Birthday, little sister. I love you!